Post by TimberWolf7.62 on Oct 20, 2009 13:11:55 GMT -5
Microsoft. What a bogus-ass company. Who’d have believed a geeky little rich kid and an older man (yeah, just what the hell was he doing hanging around with a geeky little rich kid? . . . ) would have parlayed some cheesy code into something as powerful as Microsoft? And DOS was pretty cheesy – user-hostile like Unix but without any of the good features.
But my beef here is specifically with a particular facet of Windows, that nanny of software, that “Big Brother” of fancy menuing systems, that border collie to the sheep herd of computer users. And before the Linux crowd jumps in, let me say that I have used Linux since Red Hat version 5.1, and would like to use it more, except 98% of the software runs on Windows. Hell, I’d actually like to use Solaris (and I do have a Solaris box).
But when I want to just settle down with a bourbon and Coke, fire up Wolfenstein or Call of Duty 4, and blow some people’s heads off with a sniper rifle, I don’t want to have to dink with the software to get it to run right.
Anyway, my contention is that Microsoft needs an “Expert” mode, in which it will not prompt you before carrying out an action.
Delete <Enter>
“Are you sure you want to delete these files?”
YES, I want to delete them.
“OK, well, we think you’re stupid, so we’ll just tell you that they are deleted. We’ll really put them in something called the Recycle Bin so that you can retrieve them later. That is, when you figure out that we were right all along. Unless, of course, you are downloading so much porn off of the Internet that you fill up your hard drive. In that case, we’ll just have to really delete these files. Then you’ll be sorry . . . “
What’s up with that?
Or try to even browse the system folder with Exploder and you get a warning. “Little boy, are you sure you should be looking at what’s in here? Does your Mother know where you are?”
What is it, a f**king whore house, and I’m too young to look in there?
Hey, this is my f**king computer and I want to delete these f**king files, so delete the motherf**king things right god-f**king-damned NOW!! Don’t f**king question me, don’t f**king second-guess me, just do what I f**king well tell you to do! Why is that so f**king difficult? Why?
Or some program is not responding, so you CTRL-ALT-DELETE to kill it, and Windows just has to ask “Do you really want to kill this program? Why not give it just five more seconds to see if it will close itself? Just five seconds?” Has anyone ever, ever, ever given a program five more seconds and had it actually do anything? Anything at all? If I have decided to kill the program, I want it killed right motherf**king now!!
Now, I am in the computer industry, have been for years, and I fully understand that users are stupid and ignorant and that they will f**k things up to a fare-thee-well and then turn off the machine and come in the next morning and lie that they never touched it. It was like that when they got here. I know that; I have seen it time and again.
I have seen many users whose passwords simply wouldn’t work unless I was standing behind them, watching over their shoulder, as they typed it in. Right, you pull this stunt again, I’m going to change your password to antidisestablishmentarianism, only with all of the e’s changed to 3’s, all of the i’s changed to 1’s, and every third consonant capitalized. Try to f**king type that in, dickweed.
I have seen users who couldn’t reliably click a mouse key while keeping the arrow in one spot – like on an icon. Jeez, lay off the booze for just one night and you won’t be trembling so much, I’ll bet. Or maybe you need to take a shot about now. It’s hard to click on an icon if you have the DTs.
I have seen other users who swore up and down that a single-click was click-click and that a double-click was click-click-click-click. I suggested remedial math.
Or users that couldn’t figure out a right mouse click from a left mouse click. Does your Mother mark “L” and “R” on the inside of your shoes so that you get them on the correct feet? Or do you even have them on the correct feet? Oh, yeah? Prove it. Show me. Pull them out from under that desk, stop trying to hide them under there!
I have seen users that opened Word every time they needed it . . . and eventually complained that their system was running out of memory . . . to find that they had never closed Word at any f**king point, and had about 18 sessions open and running. What the f**k did you think all of those minimized icons were that said “Word”? f**king decorations?
And I have had way too many users tell me they had an error message, but when I ask them what it said, they tell me they just hit “OK” or “Enter” or whatever and they don’t remember what it said. Gee, you don’t suppose the error number and text that is so helpfully displayed would be at all USEFUL in troubleshooting the f**king error do you, you incompetent f**k?
So I understand that Microsoft is trying to cut down a little on the stupid user calls. I really do. However, there are those of us out here who (a) have a brain, (b) have experience with computers, and (c) can be depended upon to make the right decision, or at minimum, to (d) have the knowhow to undelete something using DOS commands or an old copy of Norton (when it was actually a useful suite of tools), or the ability to recreate the damned thing, or – GASP! – a backup!.
In other words, Windows needs an “Expert” mode, in which they let you have at it with no safeguards – no prompts, no godamned second-guessing, no babying. Look, I f**king use Unix in a business production environment all day long – THAT is a user-hostile environment. If you delete a file, it is f**king gone, OK? No prompt. No question. Period. End of story. f**king gone. No recovery. No undelete. f**king gone. Try that with a file that will have 1,600 users unable to do their jobs for six hours or so while you restore the file if you delete it mistakenly.
I don’t need to be coddled by Windows. I can handle it, OK? I take responsibility (which is something that is sadly lacking in today’s society.)
My fear is that, somewhere along the way, I’ll get a prompt that tells me my PC is simply refusing to do what I tell it to. At that point, I’m gonna have to take a road trip to Seattle with the Mini-14, a dozen magazines*, and a case of .223 ammo, and start culling the Microsoft geek herd . . . . .
* Magazines (frequently and incorrectly called ”clips”) are those steel box-shaped [or, rarely, drum-shaped] devices that hold ammunition (frequently and incorrectly called “bullets”) and are inserted into a firearm to reload it.
DISCLAIMER: No geeks are really being threatened here. Yet.
But my beef here is specifically with a particular facet of Windows, that nanny of software, that “Big Brother” of fancy menuing systems, that border collie to the sheep herd of computer users. And before the Linux crowd jumps in, let me say that I have used Linux since Red Hat version 5.1, and would like to use it more, except 98% of the software runs on Windows. Hell, I’d actually like to use Solaris (and I do have a Solaris box).
But when I want to just settle down with a bourbon and Coke, fire up Wolfenstein or Call of Duty 4, and blow some people’s heads off with a sniper rifle, I don’t want to have to dink with the software to get it to run right.
Anyway, my contention is that Microsoft needs an “Expert” mode, in which it will not prompt you before carrying out an action.
Delete <Enter>
“Are you sure you want to delete these files?”
YES, I want to delete them.
“OK, well, we think you’re stupid, so we’ll just tell you that they are deleted. We’ll really put them in something called the Recycle Bin so that you can retrieve them later. That is, when you figure out that we were right all along. Unless, of course, you are downloading so much porn off of the Internet that you fill up your hard drive. In that case, we’ll just have to really delete these files. Then you’ll be sorry . . . “
What’s up with that?
Or try to even browse the system folder with Exploder and you get a warning. “Little boy, are you sure you should be looking at what’s in here? Does your Mother know where you are?”
What is it, a f**king whore house, and I’m too young to look in there?
Hey, this is my f**king computer and I want to delete these f**king files, so delete the motherf**king things right god-f**king-damned NOW!! Don’t f**king question me, don’t f**king second-guess me, just do what I f**king well tell you to do! Why is that so f**king difficult? Why?
Or some program is not responding, so you CTRL-ALT-DELETE to kill it, and Windows just has to ask “Do you really want to kill this program? Why not give it just five more seconds to see if it will close itself? Just five seconds?” Has anyone ever, ever, ever given a program five more seconds and had it actually do anything? Anything at all? If I have decided to kill the program, I want it killed right motherf**king now!!
Now, I am in the computer industry, have been for years, and I fully understand that users are stupid and ignorant and that they will f**k things up to a fare-thee-well and then turn off the machine and come in the next morning and lie that they never touched it. It was like that when they got here. I know that; I have seen it time and again.
I have seen many users whose passwords simply wouldn’t work unless I was standing behind them, watching over their shoulder, as they typed it in. Right, you pull this stunt again, I’m going to change your password to antidisestablishmentarianism, only with all of the e’s changed to 3’s, all of the i’s changed to 1’s, and every third consonant capitalized. Try to f**king type that in, dickweed.
I have seen users who couldn’t reliably click a mouse key while keeping the arrow in one spot – like on an icon. Jeez, lay off the booze for just one night and you won’t be trembling so much, I’ll bet. Or maybe you need to take a shot about now. It’s hard to click on an icon if you have the DTs.
I have seen other users who swore up and down that a single-click was click-click and that a double-click was click-click-click-click. I suggested remedial math.
Or users that couldn’t figure out a right mouse click from a left mouse click. Does your Mother mark “L” and “R” on the inside of your shoes so that you get them on the correct feet? Or do you even have them on the correct feet? Oh, yeah? Prove it. Show me. Pull them out from under that desk, stop trying to hide them under there!
I have seen users that opened Word every time they needed it . . . and eventually complained that their system was running out of memory . . . to find that they had never closed Word at any f**king point, and had about 18 sessions open and running. What the f**k did you think all of those minimized icons were that said “Word”? f**king decorations?
And I have had way too many users tell me they had an error message, but when I ask them what it said, they tell me they just hit “OK” or “Enter” or whatever and they don’t remember what it said. Gee, you don’t suppose the error number and text that is so helpfully displayed would be at all USEFUL in troubleshooting the f**king error do you, you incompetent f**k?
So I understand that Microsoft is trying to cut down a little on the stupid user calls. I really do. However, there are those of us out here who (a) have a brain, (b) have experience with computers, and (c) can be depended upon to make the right decision, or at minimum, to (d) have the knowhow to undelete something using DOS commands or an old copy of Norton (when it was actually a useful suite of tools), or the ability to recreate the damned thing, or – GASP! – a backup!.
In other words, Windows needs an “Expert” mode, in which they let you have at it with no safeguards – no prompts, no godamned second-guessing, no babying. Look, I f**king use Unix in a business production environment all day long – THAT is a user-hostile environment. If you delete a file, it is f**king gone, OK? No prompt. No question. Period. End of story. f**king gone. No recovery. No undelete. f**king gone. Try that with a file that will have 1,600 users unable to do their jobs for six hours or so while you restore the file if you delete it mistakenly.
I don’t need to be coddled by Windows. I can handle it, OK? I take responsibility (which is something that is sadly lacking in today’s society.)
My fear is that, somewhere along the way, I’ll get a prompt that tells me my PC is simply refusing to do what I tell it to. At that point, I’m gonna have to take a road trip to Seattle with the Mini-14, a dozen magazines*, and a case of .223 ammo, and start culling the Microsoft geek herd . . . . .
* Magazines (frequently and incorrectly called ”clips”) are those steel box-shaped [or, rarely, drum-shaped] devices that hold ammunition (frequently and incorrectly called “bullets”) and are inserted into a firearm to reload it.
DISCLAIMER: No geeks are really being threatened here. Yet.