Post by TimberWolf7.62 on Oct 20, 2009 13:17:43 GMT -5
The baseball stadium here in Houston was named Enron Field, but we all witnessed the rather spectacular crash-and-burn of Enron. So the naming right became available again, and Coca-Cola bought it. The bad news is that they’ve named it “Minute Maid Stadium”, after their line of orange juice.
Now I’m not a sports fan, so it doesn’t affect me too much, but “Minute Maid”?!?!?!! Besides all of the jokes about how ‘she can be made in a minute’ (i.e., she’s an easy lay), it’s just a wimpy name. Wimpy! It needs to be named something macho and fearsome and intimidating to the other team, like “Skullcracker Arena”, or “Bucket of Blood Battleground”, or “Kick the Other Team’s Ass Stadium”.
Make the other team enter the stadium through a line of decapitated heads (fake ones, fake ones, yeah, of course) on pikes, heads wearing baseball hats with logos from other teams that the Astros have defeated (if any). Have fire shoot out at them as they go by, so they have to dodge through the flames. Have a whole s**tload of ambulances and EMTs standing by on their side, looking at them grimly and shaking their heads. Have an area clearly marked “TRIAGE”. Have the stadium decorated with artwork by Frank Frazetta, you know, all of the swords and skulls and blood and guts and gore that he does . . . .
Oh, who are these nice men, offering me a white jacket? Hmm, the sleeves are way too long. What’s - ? HEY!! THIS IS A STRAITJACKET! LET ME OUT OF HERE, YOU BASTARDS! WHEN I GET LOOSE I’M GOING TO RIP YOUR ARMS OFF AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH THE BLOODY f**kING ENDS OF THEM!!!!!!!!!
>Slam<
Now I’m not a sports fan, so it doesn’t affect me too much, but “Minute Maid”?!?!?!! Besides all of the jokes about how ‘she can be made in a minute’ (i.e., she’s an easy lay), it’s just a wimpy name. Wimpy! It needs to be named something macho and fearsome and intimidating to the other team, like “Skullcracker Arena”, or “Bucket of Blood Battleground”, or “Kick the Other Team’s Ass Stadium”.
Make the other team enter the stadium through a line of decapitated heads (fake ones, fake ones, yeah, of course) on pikes, heads wearing baseball hats with logos from other teams that the Astros have defeated (if any). Have fire shoot out at them as they go by, so they have to dodge through the flames. Have a whole s**tload of ambulances and EMTs standing by on their side, looking at them grimly and shaking their heads. Have an area clearly marked “TRIAGE”. Have the stadium decorated with artwork by Frank Frazetta, you know, all of the swords and skulls and blood and guts and gore that he does . . . .
Oh, who are these nice men, offering me a white jacket? Hmm, the sleeves are way too long. What’s - ? HEY!! THIS IS A STRAITJACKET! LET ME OUT OF HERE, YOU BASTARDS! WHEN I GET LOOSE I’M GOING TO RIP YOUR ARMS OFF AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH THE BLOODY f**kING ENDS OF THEM!!!!!!!!!
>Slam<